Consumed with Me

You know those days when you try to blame someone else for your bleh mood?

My personal bleh mood defined:
Going days/weeks/however long without facing my frustrations and emotions.
Trying to power through my weaknesses without really addressing them fully, but pushing them down so I can be perceived as strong and together (together and Mom, not synonymous, p.s.).

I was in a funk 2 days ago, again. Crap. I was fighting it, suppressing it, and secretly hoping God would SHIZAM a good attitude into my bones so I could be a good Mom and Wife. Easy way out for 1 please??!!

Nope. Drew and I had a date night last night and I was still lackadaisical, insecure, bleh. 
After trying to blame him for my funk 16 times, he decided to speak truth. That it was ME who was in the funk, not him. (Gosh darn, he is pretty much ALWAYS absolutely right.)

Over a wonderful dinner at Seasons 52, one of our favorite spots, we finally put words to my funk...I was being selfish, egoistic, thinking of me and only me.

How can I get out of the house today?
How can I relate to my friends better?
How can I get my workout in?
How can I make money?

All I statements, not bad..but when they are ONLY things you are thinking about, you get consumed in nothing else but (drumroll please....) YOURSELF!
It's horrible, but it's so gosh darn easy to do. One of Satan's little tricks. Damn him.

I have not been serving, I have been thinking of ME.
I have not been calling my friends to see how they are doing, I have been thinking of ME.
My trials. My growth. My struggles. My time.
Bleh.
I'm done.
Time to be others-focused.

Thanks for letting me rant : )
JH

That's What She Said

At a dear friend of mine, Anna's wedding. 

I got to hold precious little Olive! Angel's sweet baby

Hanging out at home. Very stunned by the whole thing, really. 

I am a words person.
Finding the perfect word to describe an emotion makes my day.
Hearing encouraging words from people I love shoots me to the moon with excitement.
Things people say, a huge deal. My love language is "Words of Affirmation." Shocker!
Yep, this is a total feminine quality of mine and I couldn't be more proud : )

Here is my first rendition of a series I am calling,
 "And I Quote"

"I wish we could have her out here in the hallway so we could just watch her sleep." - My sweet husby referring to our daughter. Can he get any sweeter?

"We just ran out of iced coffee, can I get you something else...?!?!" -Barista at Starbucks after I had already paid. Whhhuuuut, I don't understand!!

"Can I use this 40% off Yelp check-in offer?"- Me, after I unashamedly (not really) checked in to "A Touch of Romance" Awkward.

"Everyone come in here and look at my chub thigh's!" -Reese

"Did you have any dreams?" -What my husband asks our 3.5 month old daughter every morning.

"Let's be more edgy" -Me to my husband.

"Should I start the coffee or hope she goes back to sleep?" - My husband at 6am when Reese started stirring.

"I don't like my bed! It's lonely and boring...hold me!"-Reese

"I must have not been looking!" - To the room of people who watched me walk straight into a screen last night. (Insert beat red face HERE)

Have a fab, fab day. Seriously, be fabulous.

JH

Personal Training.

Hey y'all. Just a quick post to say I am 2 weeks into studying for my Personal Training certificate!

I am so excited to start this new chapter in my life, as it is something I have wanted to do forever.

Please give me advice if you have taken the test, I would love to hear from you guys.

JH

Being a Mama

If I told you I had this mom thing together and all dialed in, I would be lying. 

Yesterday, I had a minor meltdown. 

Let me explain. 

4th of July...a holiday where the sun shines bright and everyone gets to show off their bronzed skin and fun holiday recipes. One of my favorite days over the past few years. 

I woke up for the third day in a row with a fever due to my Mastitis (a breast infection). I decided to be "super mom" and put Reese in her cute red, white, and blue outfit and go join in on the fun. 

She had a great nap so I figured it was perfect time to hit up a nearby block party. 

We hadn't been there for 5 minutes when she was OVER it. I'm talking-screaming-fussing-body-jolting- over it. I attempted to smile through it as I engaged in conversation with my single friends as they sipped their cocktails. My body temperature was rising with every well meaning, "what's wrong with your baby, why is she so sad, poor thing!!??" comment. 

I tried everything. Reese just didn't want to be there. I did, she didn't. I wanted to sip Margarita's and sit poolside. She wanted to be at home, playing on her mat. 

We left soon after and I drove away. Fighting off my selfish feelings and trying to remember my priorities. I love this girl to death, but can't she just let Mama mingle with her friends for a few minutes?? I had a soul-searching next few minutes. Asking God to fill my heart with peace and contentment. To rid my heart of jealousy and selfishness. 

We got home and I put Reese down on her mat, her favorite spot in the house. She smiled, she laughed, and I kissed her little cheeks. Laying on the ground with her, I decided it was okay for me to battle this. For me to process being a young mom when hardly any of my friends have even considered having kiddos. This is my life. God's timing, my life. My little girl, my life. 

Being a Momma is a daily sacrifice, a daily peace offering, an unexplainable joy, It's funny how most great things require sacrifice, and time. Marriage, saving money, eating healthy, loving others, putting God first. 

As I feel myself growing, I am learning. How to be selfless, how to be present in the moment and not wish for anything else. 

Cheers to the growing process. 

JH

Favorite Things- Reese Edition

Babies grow up too fast.

I mean like speedyracecarrapidlightining fast. 

I literally stare at Reese's feet to make sure I don't miss them being so tiny!

Here are few of my favorite things about Reese right here and right now. 

1. That she sleeps 11 hours a night. Selfish, yes, but one of my favorite things for sure!

2. How she looks when she's sleeping. I think she might be an angel on earth, seriously. 

3. When she kicks her feet nonstop in utter joy when she's in the bath with the lights low.

4. How she loves being on her back with her singing friends, or baby Einstein Pandora blasting so she can dance. 

5. She's sensitive and doesn't like new places. LOL. She will literally be straight faced for hours in a new place. 

6. Her little body stretching when I pick her up in the morning. 

Drew and I are eating this little girl up, honestly. 

We are totally those parents who talk about their baby all the time. Sorry, we can't stop. 

Write down a list about someone you love and what your favorite things are about them today. It's fun to see the list grow and change. 

And here are some of this week's iPhone pix. 

Holding a sign for Daddy

Possibly my favorite day and favorite photo of my two loves. 

She looks at me like this all day. I really do wonder what she's thinking sometimes haha. 

The best view at Mimi and Papa's house. 

THIS is a Wednesday night. Yes please. 

Her morning glow. Cuddle time with Mama. 

JH

Thanks, Mom.

Mom.
It's not until now that I can say this with understanding and weight.

Thank you. 

For bathing me, and making sure to get under my neck. A hundred times over. 

For holding me when I was getting sick, or when I was just feeling sad. A hundred times over. 

For giving up your time with your girlfriends so I could get my nap. A hundred times over. 

For laughing with me when I first learned to laugh. A hundred times over. 

For hugging me when I needed it and telling me to "go for it".. A hundred times over. 

For singing to me while I fell asleep. A hundred times over. 

For praying for me. For letting me go. Letting me learn. A hundred times over. 

Being a Mom is full of challenges, and you made the most of it. A hundred times over. 

Thank you. 

Boom. Mama rules. Love that lady. 

JH

Google History

Does anyone else use Google more than they blink?

...."Hold on, let me check...(frantically enter ...what time does the sun set?....when does summer begin?...best meatball recipe...)..and viola! Instant gratification. Sound familiar?

So here it is, my Google search history for the past 72 hours, along with an attempt for an explanation. I  didn't skip any, promise.
(Check yours, it's pretty telling..and hilarious!)

"Sean Lowe"- anyone who watches Bachelorette has googled this name. Next Bachelor anyone??

"Bachelorette recap"- Yes, I watched it, but I LOVE those hilarious sarcastic recaps (and spoilers) :)

"Pro bono"- Definitely knew what this meant in a past life, but had to google it before I used it confidently in a conversation.

"Exercises for 3 month old baby"- Needed to see if there are any fun ways to make little Reese as strong as she can be!

"Luke Bryan, Drunk on You"- I'm officially a country girl, and very old school. I google this music video almost every morning while I make my coffee. Yes, I know ITunes exists, but I love me some MySpace music videos! Top 8 baby!

"Nordstrom Shoes"- gulp, obsession.

"Brea Mall Hours"- Sunday night, I left the babe with my In-laws and was headed to the mall! Only to google this and find out it closes INSANELY early on the weekends. Bust. Off to Yogurtland instead...

"Yorba Linda Bowl"- Needed to check out their hours...my dirty little secret...I'm an amazing bowler..I know, I know..my mother must be SO proud.

SO PROUD of little sister, Haley. Marina class of 2012.

Wishing Dad Good Luck. 2 seconds later she screamed for him. 

My Dad, sporting his fathers day gift..a new hat!

For those of you who know me, I am obsessed with Dogs. Particulary funny pictures of dogs. Found this one on Pinterest with the caption "Bored? Draw eyebrows on your dog." Dying. 

There ya have it. You totally know me better now. Go check your history, you might have a good laugh. Better yet, check your friends or husbands! (ask first, of course...)

Have a fab Tuesday (had to check my phone for what day it was....what would I do without it??) 

JH

Jeniece-isims

The older I get the weirder I get, no doubt. It's extremely hilarious to stop and think about your (your name here)isim's...the things YOU do and most others probably don't.

Get to know my "isms" in ten steps.

Step one. 

I thinks it's completely normal to walk around stark naked upstairs when my in-laws (with whom I live with) are downstairs. 

Step two. 

I often do full sprints around the house as fast as I can. Why not. 

Step three. 

Once I gets in bed, I usually get back up to floss. I purposely did not floss after brushing because I think its annoying and I get bad vibes thinking about people flossing and then looking at the food they got out. It's a constant battle. 

Step four.

 As soon as Reese goes down for a nap, I start watching videos of her and look at her pictures. Sometimes for the full duration of her nap. 

Step five. 

I tweeze my eyebrows in the morning and at night. Sometimes midday as well. It's ridiculous.

Step six. 

I enjoy living with my in-laws, they enjoy ice-cream and HGTV as much as I do. 

Step seven. 

I have bleached every single towel and wash cloth I own with my Benzoyl face wash. 

Step eight. 

If I see anyone in public with a dog or a baby, I try my hardest to cross paths with them..hoping for a slobbery face-lick from the dog, or baby. 

Step nine. 

I love all things Asian. The people, the ramen, the grocery stores, the toys...

Step ten. 

I often sneak downstairs in the middle of the night for a snack. 99% of the time, it's a handful of salted pistachios. 

I love YOU and YOUR uniqueness! It's such a fun thing to be different than every other person.

Here is my week in iPhone pix. Enjoy and have a lovely Saturday night, bedtime for me!

She LOVES her bath time, it's the sweetest moment of my day. 

These are the types of pictures I send to my husband when he's working. 

All cozy in Momma's bed. Those jams don't fit her anymore! tear!!

Tiny feet. 

On our Palm Spring's getaway. Sooo incredibly fun. 

Best friend. 

Stopped to snap this shot on my run in YL!

I was having a great hair day and had to document!

LOVE. JH

The Beginning

I can't believe it's been over 2 months since the late night that would change my life completely. 

March 22nd, a cool Thursday evening. 

Hunger Games came out that day at midnight and I had been dying to see it. 

My spontaneous husband decided to by tickets for the 12:01am show in Costa Mesa. 

Little did we know, we would not make the show!

Not but a few minutes later, Drew and I were in the kitchen and I was sitting on our Ikea island experiencing a contraction about every 10 minutes. I told him this might be the night.

We laughed.

We repacked the hospital bag for the 5th time. 

We paced the living room. 

We played scramble.

We popped popcorn.

After a few hours of labor at home, I decided it was time to head to Kaiser. Things were getting a little more painful!

(It's SO weird walking up to the hospital knowing you will have a baby in the next couple of hours...everyone was too calm. Shouldn't everyone be running around in haste, people screaming, fireworks, I don't know..??) 

I was 4 cm. dilated and admitted immediately around 11:45pm. Drew sent a text to our folks and his...literally 2 seconds later, all four of them were in our room. 

By about 3am, I was experiencing the worst pain of my life. Hands down. No one told me that contractions are NO JOKE!

I soon kicked everyone out of the room, besides Drew, and struggled through some pretty gnarly contractions. Drew was holding me, whispering in my ear, being my cheerleader...thank you LORD for him! 

It was around 5am when I decided I could no longer take it and demanded my nurse to give me an epidural...Noooowww!!! (she later made a comment on how she thought I had split personalities...)

I was 8cm when I got the lifesaving epidural. I called the anesthesiologist a "God" about a million times before he left. 

The pain subsided for a bit and then I explained to the nurse I was feeling a whole bunch of pressure. She asked me a few questions and then started calling for the midwife and turning on heat lamps. Bah!!! I remember thinking, no way. This is going to happen right now. I started pushing and around 7:20, little Reese made her debut. 

She cried, of course, but I'll never, ever forget seeing her little face for the first time. Drew held her and she made eye contact with him for a couple of seconds. 

I had died and gone to heaven. 

6 pounds and 13 oz for us to kiss on. 

The next couple of weeks were a complete blur. From visitors, to sleepless nights, and hours and hours of starring at the little girl that changed our lives for the better. 

We hadn't planned for Reese, but my goodness, God knew just what he was doing when he gave us this little angel. 

She makes our life SO complete and full of so much joy. My favorite thing in the world is to watch Drew hold her and have a full on "coo" conversation. 

Here she is at 1 week...enjoy :)

I love the softness of this shoot and her funny little snarls and content demeanor. 

Thanks Bryan Pogue for capturing our precious daughter. 

JH

Our First Place

I remember, last April, walking through our empty little cottage on the boulevard and imagining being married to Drew. Cooking roast's, making cookies, entertaining...o, the plans I had!

This week, Drew and I said goodbye to that little place in Newport and hello to his wonderful parents in Yorba Linda. Not a bad deal at all; a perfectly quiet, clean, spacious abode was waiting for us as we pulled up with all we have crammed in 2 SUV's. Not to mention, 2 predictably huge smiles on Mimi and Papa's faces! Kinda feels like a little vacation, honest.

As I drove away, Reese in the backseat sleeping, Drew in his Land Cruiser behind me....I thought back to the many times my folks would refer to their "first place." They would look at one another and laugh...remember when we ate top ramen for a week straight so we could afford to pay the electricity bill....or that bird we had that never shut up...I looked at them and smiled, happy for them of course, but not knowing the depth of their conversation.

Our first place.

Where we slept our very first night as a married couple together (I won't get into that..), figured out who is cleaner (him), sat on the counter drinking Pinot Noir, played scrabble, scored a patio table that fit our porch just right, walked across the street to dip our toes in the sand just as the sun was setting, discovered life changing take-out Thai food right down the street, where we brought Reese home from the hospital, I could go on and on.


One day, Drew and I will bore little Reese about our stories from that "first place" of ours. I never knew how many laughs were to be had at 130 e. Balboa.

So, adios "first place" and hello to the future, I can't wait :)

Life Purpose Statement

Life purpose statement. Everyone should have one.

It just makes sense, you can tweak it as the years go by, but there is so much power in writing down what you stand for. 

My brother, Luke, helped me write it by suggesting this...

Write down 3 things you want to have (possessions). Write down 3 things you want to do. Write down 3 things you want to be. 

Somewhat ambiguous, but it will help you focus in on what or who you are living for. 

Here's mine. 

Who I want to be

Bold. Joyful. Passionate. Creative. Confident.

What I want to do

Assist in others living to their fullest potential.

Be challenged and challenge others. 

Help others find their identity in Christ.

Serve. 

Live simply. 

What I want to have 

The means to provide my family with endless opportunities (education, travel, athletics)

A house with a backyard and a bath tub :) 

Life Purpose Statement

To live simply, embrace creativity, and accept challenge. To help others walk in confidence that they are children of God. To love as Christ loves me.

I hope you try this and it helps bring a little direction to your life, it did mine! 

Congrats to Mrs. Masone! 

This is how she sleeps sometimes.. 

JH

Come run with me!

Happy Saturday. I am particularly happy today because little Reese decided to sleep for 7 hours straight last night. No joke. I let her sleep on the Tempur-Pedic mattress with me while Dad is was gone...hopefully she's not addicted! gulp.

I decided I need a little motivation to get myself back in shape. I signed up for the Malibu half marathon and I am so excited about it. The race is in 189 days..plenty of time to work off the brownie sundaes I have been saying "yes" to the past 9 months ; )

I'm inviting YOU to run it with me!
Serious. Let's do this.
We don't have to literally run side by side, but sign your booty up, let me know and let's keep each other accountable and get in shiz-ape.

If you have been wanting to challenge yourself physically, there is no better time than now.
Hit up my facebook or email me at JenieceHarris@gmail.com if you want to join the team!

You can sign up for the run here.

JH

"Cray Cray"

It's hard to find a particular subject to blog about because I feel like I have one million things to share with you, invisible cyber world, you.

First things first. I must be going through some sort of mid-twenties growth spurt because I feel like God is stretching me in a way that I have never been stretched before. This season has not been easy. Exciting, challenging, ass-kicking, strength-giving, but not easy. More on this when I figure out what's happening ; ) 

I fully believe in honesty, so here it is. Raising a little tot is crazy difficult! Especially when he or she is particularly fussy. There, I said it. Sometimes I feel like all mom's talk about are the good times and what a joy it is. Don't get me wrong, when I see my little girl in the morning, catch her smiling at her singing monkey, hold her in my arms as she falls asleep...I have experienced no greater joy... However, it's "cray cray" as my 18 year old sister would say. 

The hardest part about it- right now, it requires me to be completely selfless. I suck at this, but shoot...I'm learning! 

There, I got that out. 

Now for top five moments this past week that I WISH I could have photographed for you. 

Yours truly, sweating to my 80's "Band Method" workout DVD that I swooped from the library. Free DVD rentals people, get on it! 

Drew and I sitting in the Massage chairs at Brookstone for a full 30 minutes on a Friday night at South Coast Plaza, while wide-eyed Reese looked at her weak parents from her cozy Bugaboo stroller.  

Reese laying on her "mat" holding her singing monkey in one hand and her colorful crunchy dragonfly in the other with a big smile on her face. She literally would rather hang out with them than us. 

Drew searching for a burp cloth under our bed at 3am. 

Me, at 7:02am, in my pajamas...asking the construction dudes next door if they could PLEASE keep the racket to a minimum while my baby is SLEEPING!! (I just wish I would have had curlers in my hair and a green face mask on..next time)

The look on the ladies face at the toll booth when the Mercedes snuck under the gate with the car in front of him. 

Now, enjoy some moments I did catch. 

Milk drunk. 

Staring at the fan. So exciting. 

Etsy Headbands! Loooooove.

Sleeping on our daily walk on the beach. 

xo, JH

Not So Perfect

Hello Friends. 

This past week I randomly stumbled upon one of my new absolute favorite women, Brene Brown. Check out her blog here. She is a doctor, speaker, author, genius, and everything else extraordinary. 

She has a few key words that come up frequently in the majority of her speaking and writing...Courage, Vulnerability, Imperfection to name a few...basically, embracing who YOU are fully and letting yourself be imperfect. 

This blog post has been inspired by her sassy research about loving who you are, craziness and all...thanks Brene! So here goes, I have decided to let you in on some of my secrets, quirks, and definite imperfections. Some silly, some serious...all me.

1. My feet smell. This is greatly influenced by my choice to go sock-less in my Nike’s. Nonetheless, my feet smell. While on the feet topic, no matter how many "callus remover gel" treatments I get..my heels are hard as rocks. 

2. I often need someone to tell me they believe in me to really believe in myself. I wish this weren’t true. I desire to be a woman who has a can-do attitude and can be her own cheerleader..I can’t. I need to hear it from someone else who I love. 

3.  I spray tan. No, not the elegant “movie-star” mist at the tanning salon, but Loreal bronze spray from Target. Not going to lie, it works...streakless and UV free, baby. 

4. I pee’d my pants last week. Twice. Not even kidding. 

5. I’m horrible with Geography and History. I often have to google historical events that EVERYONE knows. Who was Hitler again?? : ) 

6. I don’t tell my parents I love them enough. This one totally bums me out, but I’m working on it. 

7. I suck at calling people back and picking up my phone. Not because I’m busy, but because I’m lazy. 

8. I feel better with makeup on. 

9. I often get anxious when I think about my future, or about death. 

10. Most of the time I would rather read Women’s Health than the Bible. Yikes!

I hope YOU feel like YOU know the real ME better now. There is such beautiful power in vulnerability and embracing the imperfect people we are. 

No need to share publicly (unless you want to.. : ) ) But, take some time and write down your imperfections. Embrace them, recognize them, and work on them. Give yourself Grace because God knows you are not perfect, only HE is..

I hope to raise my daughter in a home that teaches her where her value is. Not in her beauty, her accomplishments, or her spunk. She is valuable because she is a child of the King. Boom. 

JH

And baby makes three

The most amazing announcement, as most of you already know :

Beautiful little Reese Mae Harris was born on 3/23/12 at 7:20am.

She is completely healthy, 19 in. long and weighed in at 6 pounds 13 oz.

I was in labor from around 9:30pm until push time around 6:30am. More on that later ; )

We already can't get enough of the following:

      

 Her soft cuddly feet.

 Her big smiles while she's sleeping. 

Watching her while she's milk drunk.
Her wide eyes looking right at us. 

Starring at her and dreaming about who she is going to become. 

Laughing our brains out about how much this little girl can poop! 

Her amazing Grandparents, Aunties, Uncles, and Cousins loving on her. 

 How she loves raising her hands in the air. 

Letting her in on families inside jokes.
Our nightly family beach walks.
The honesty Drew and I have been embracing during this life changing journey.  

And lastly, a countdown.

10 pm in the evening. The time Reese decides to wake up for the "day."

9 Number of minutes it takes me to change a baby poop diaper. Slow poke.

8 The number of diapers we change in a single day. 

7 How many loads of baby laundry we do each day. Literally.

6 How many times a minute we tell her we love her. 

5 Number of times I have cried in the past week. 

4 How many days it took me to change out of my jammies. 

3 Seconds. The time it took me to fall head over heels in love with her. 

2 pm. The time I eat breakfast. 

1 day..she will grow up :( 

Be present. Take in each moment, it will be long gone before you know it. 

JH

On being pregnant....

Things I won't miss:

1. Sweating. All the time, doesn't matter if its snowing out. It's hot in huurrrrr!!

2. Not being able to put my own shoes on...without huffing and puffing and needing a break in-between each shoe tie.

3. Wearing the same shirt everyday, because it's the only one that fits thats comfortable and not that frumpy.

4. Going on a 30 minute walk and needing an immediate 2 hour nap for recovery.

5. Shaving my legs, blindly.

6. Being stared at. Maybe I'm the first person they have seen pregnant, who knows.

7. Peeing 34 times a day.



Things I will miss:

1. People letting me cut in lines at the grocery store..strangers motioning me to go in front of them at the public restrooms with a big smile. Thanks guys!

2. Feeling her move across my belly and playing the "figure out what body part that was" game.

3. Her sweet baby hiccups.

4. Imagining laying my eyes on her sweet little face for the first time.

5. Having an inarguable excuse to eat one more piece of pizza...for the baby, she wanted it..she told me!

6. Being whistled at from behind and then turning around to show the freckle faced college boy my protruding stomach. Wanna take that whistle back sweetheart?

7. Hearing her heartbeat inside of me at the Doctor's office.

Hope this made you laugh. As I excitedly wait for little Reese to join our family, I hope you have a magical day and let those pregnant ladies cut in front of you at the restrooms : )

JH

This week in IPhone pictures...

Shamelessly rocking out to Selena Gomez  my new Target shades

Drew poaching an egg 

Dad on his 57th birthday on 3/13

Breakfast at Pacific Whey with little Ocean